Break A Leg
When you close the curtains at the end of the day you sometimes get a feeling that things didn’t go as well as you’d hoped. A lack of confidence can rob you of opportunities you were born for and stop you from shining . Lois Freeman, from Sheffield, looks at how to beat the confidence blues.
The stage is empty, the lights are dimmed, the place is silent but every seat is filled! I step out, the lights are up and my voice fills the room…and I endure the most nerve-racking moment-ever! Since I was young I’ve been quite the performer, putting on little plays for my mum in the kitchen and singing like an angel in the school nativity. I’m sure it’s always been in me, however the feeling of being on a stage with an audience hanging on my every word and every action is quite a daunting feeling.
When I reached the age of 16 I decided to take theatre studies at college, I thought it would be an ‘easy A’ and a bit of fun along the way. In a class of about fourteen larger than life, extravagant and over the top people, I felt like a lost sheep – unheard and unseen. I enjoyed performing, but it was the audience that was my problem. Whether it was an audience of one or a hundred it didn’t matter - the thought of someone watching and judging me scared me to death!! This scenario can be similar for many areas of our lives - we become so obsessed with what people think about us. We can put what others think of us ahead of what we know to be true about ourselves – and when you put it like that it sounds ridiculous, yet it’s not uncommon. I’ve discovered three lessons that will help give you back your confidence to walk onto the stage and steal the show!
Know Who You Are
If you want to be confident, you need to know who you are! Know what makes you different. Know what you’re good at and what you’re not so good at. And, if you don’t know – find out! It may feel a little weird to ask yourself questions like ‘Who Am I?’ but how else will you find out?! Go on a journey of discovery and you may find there’s more to you than you thought. We are incredibly complex people and we can only fulfil all of who we are if we know first who we are!
Be Who You Are
Once you know who you are – don’t forget to be you. Too many people choose to follow the crowd instead of making their own way. You were made unique to live that way. Other people’s personalities don’t suit you but yours is tailor made – put it on and be proud! I had to realise that even though I didn’t always see things the way others around me did, I had a valuable contribution to each situation. You’ve heard the saying that two heads are better than one – well it’s true, but there’s no point if both heads are the same! Don’t be afraid to stand out sometimes, nobody ever changed world by keeping up with the Jones’!
Love Who You Are
So, you might know who you are and you may even be showing the real you, but your potential can only be reached when you learn to love it! There’s no point in begrudging your personality – you have to realise how incredible you are and give yourself a bit more credit. Learn to love yourself! I did and now I see that others opinions don’t hold me back anymore because I love who I am. Sure I realise that I’m not perfect, but I’ve also found that no good ever came from focusing on your bad points. Love the good things about you – your caring nature, your ability to solve problems, your sense of fun. Then whilst acknowledging the not so good things, you can learn to overcome or work with them – not every bad temper has to surface if you know how to deal with it.
When I realized that a lack of confidence plagued areas of my life, I decided something had to change! Being a Christian I knew that God wanted success and greatness for my life and that He could give me the confidence to be all that I wanted to be. I asked God to give me the confidence to be who I was meant to be. He showed me that he had confidence in me and my ability and He gave me the perspective that it was only His opinion that truly mattered. Since then, I’ve learnt how to live for an audience of one! You can do the same – ditch that lack of confidence and low self-esteem and trade them in for something better. You only have to ask to receive – and what have you got to loose?!