Power In Numbers
By Mark Foster
When relationships are good they can be really good! When they go bad they can be really bad! Mark Foster looks at how to get the most out of your relationships and proves that one plus one can actually equal three when the secrets of synergy begin to unfold.
Having been hitched for four years I’ve come to realise that there are some things which … let’s say are not ‘my gift!’ When I was single I thought that I had it all together. Anything I wasn’t good at, I didn’t need to be anyway. Problem is, the more we grow up, the more responsibility we take on, and with that the more responsible we need to be! So with marriage came more responsibility, more work, more pressures, more people, more everything! Suddenly 1 and 1 got together, but we needed to equal three!
That’s where relational maths comes in! Some people call it synergy. The power of working together. I’ve begun to realise that my gifts plus my wife’s gift's working together in unison, equal more than the sum of those gift’s separately. It may sound corny but it’s true – most of the time anyway!
My wife’s perception, her eye for detail and her ability to communicate coherently, are worth more now we’re in partnership than when she was single! (She is all that I ain’t!) When you work and live in partnership you can achieve far more than if you remained alone.
It’s a clichéd example I know, but, you’ll have noticed that every autumn flocks of birds escaping the declining temperatures of the home land in search of warmer climates. The birds always seem to find themselves in a ‘V’ formation. The reason they do this illustrates the power of relational maths. Every bird takes turns at the head of the ‘V’. They then create a slipstream behind them. This makes it less stressful for the bird behind them. Scientists can prove that birds flying in a ‘V’ formation can travel 70% further than if they flew alone. Incredible!
Relational maths is the way to go. When we embrace the relational maths rule we allow ourselves to become more open minded. As we celebrate others differences and embrace other ways of doing things, rather than remaining a lone ranger, we benefit by adapting easier to change and thinking of new ideas, new methods and improved philosophies.
When we learn to synergise and open ourselves up to working together we also benefit from recognizing the different roles different characters play in a team setting. We also learn how to identify and maximise each person’s capacity while still working as a team. We’re able to pool and test ideas and add value to other people’s lives as well. That’s the theory! And the good news is that it doesn’t have to stay in theory land!
You may be reading this and thinking that your closest relationship has been terminally divided by years of non appreciation, neglect and criticism. If you’ve got the will to have a relationship revived, starting to audibly appreciate the other persons strengths (rather than magnifying their inadequacies) could be just the cure. They may think you’re plastic fantastic for a while, but if you continue – it’s like fanning a smouldering fire – it could catch light at any time!
So next time you’re tempted to ‘go it alone’ why not stop and consider the rule of relational maths. Include someone else on the journey. Open yourself up to the people around you and become a ‘synergiser’! You just might find 1 + 1 does equal 3. Bye for now!
Mark Foster is part of Audacious City Church Manchester and is married to Emily.