Friends Reunited
By Simon Taylor
Not everyone wants to go on Friends Reunited, and no one has yet started a website called Families Reunited! Simon Taylor Pastor of Hope City Church in Newcastle tackles the touchy subject of relationships... and how to improve them.
Come on blokes, let’s admit it. Women can be really annoying to live with sometimes (and visa versa). Children can be a nightmare and take you to your limits. Relatives are great, when they’re at a distance and don’t even get me started on the in-laws! Am I speaking your language?
I'm sure we have all felt like this with our families at some point or another. Even Jesus had frustrations with his family. However, despite the patience testing family do’s, sibling rivalry and Great Aunty Mavis’s prickly chin, we have to admit, families are brilliant!
Let’s reverse the above: it’s hard to admit it but when it comes to women we can't live without them. Who else will clean under the toilet seat and behind the couch? (only joking!) Children - as well as causing chaos - bring the greatest moments of happiness, pride and love. Relatives are good to have close-by, especially around removal day or mad home decorating sprees... and in-laws - no I’ve already said I won’t go there! Seriously, though, they do make your world bigger and better because you gain different experiences and wisdom through extended family.
Love ‘em or hate ‘em, we’re stuck with them. So let’s make our family the best ever. God has given us blokes some pretty big responsibilities to create the best families ever! So if your family life sounds more like my opening statements, the good news is that God's plans are for good and not for evil!
I can remember learning early on in my relationship with Rachael (before we were married or even engaged) - that I can’t change her no matter how hard I try. She’s harder than me! I thought that Rachael would see me as a Jesus like figure and bow at my every wish. How wrong was I?! I found that I can't change her but I can certainly lead the way by example!
My daughter Kyla knows how to misbehave. I’m sure as time goes on she’ll come up with more weird and wonderful ways to give daddy a hard time. You see, I can’t sit down and explain everything I want her to understand because she is so young. She wouldn’t understand (let alone sit for longer than 15 seconds!). Again, I’ve realised my life needs to shout louder than my words. Kyla does what she sees daddy doing. It’s why she spends most of her energy trying to find the biscuit tin and devour as many custard creams as she can before getting caught by mummy. She does what she sees daddy doing! What lives in the father walks in the family!
Trying to change the in-laws is a whole different ball game. You, like me, would probably get thumped in the process! Good job we’re not here to change... but to influence. Remember that all your influencing needs to come from love. Desire to see others change must come from our desire to benefit them not just ourselves. Live with this heart motive and you won't go too far wrong.
Whether you feel like Homer Simpson (useless and a failure) or Ned Flanders (perfect and proud), you are part of your family to be an influence. God wants your life to be brilliant. This includes peace at home, loving relationships and enjoying the journey of life. Don’t let the blessing of family pass you by. Grab hold of it and embrace it. Create the world you want around you by living it yourself. Never quit or tire from being an influence, because you’re creating a bigger, better world for your loved ones to live in. Yes, I know its hard coming out of our caves, saying sorry and even forgiving family but you reap what you sow. So from now on act as you would want your family to act towards you. Even better, live like Jesus already has for you. Giving his all, day and night, for the benefit of others, the people he loved- his family!
Pastor of Hope City Church, Newcastle, UK. Simon is married to Rachael and has a beautiful daughter called Kyla and bump on the way!