Maximise Your Life with Paul Benger - Part Four
In the fourth extract from Paul Benger's excellent book, 'Twelve', he looks at who we should give our loyalty to and how to stay loyal through the ups and downs of life. Enjoy!
But Ittai said to the king, "I vow by the LORD and by your own life that I will go wherever you go, no matter what happens-whether it means life or death." 2 Samuel 15:21 (NLT) People tell me that there was a time when loyalty was fashionable. A time when people used the same bank, butcher, baker, greengrocer, milkman etc. throughout the whole of their lives. Today we live at a time when our only consideration is where is the best deal. I must receive six or seven phone calls every week from people who want me to move my gas/electricity account, my car insurance, my contents and buildings insurance, my life insurance or my telephone account etc.. I see lots of advertisements offering sweeteners for me to move my mortgage or switch to another credit card provider. These callers find it extremely difficult at times to understand my disinterest in their offer. You see, the truth is, I'm not necessarily after the "best" deal if the best deal means the cheapest deal, but a good deal that allows me to have a long term good relationship with the provider. So the offer to save me thirty quid a year on gas and electricity, when I am perfectly happy with my current supplier, is ridiculous.
"What about the chunk of cheese?": As a kid I would go shopping, whenever possible, with my Grandmother. She used to divide her weekly shop between two retailers on our estate. "Whettons" was a family run business that supplied the bulk of Grandma's shop and the remainder was done at the "Spar" shop next door. I loved to go with her because at Whettons they used to cut her an extra chunk of cheese especially for me to eat on the way home (I've always loved cheese). One day I realised that the Spar shop sold everything that Whettons did and vice versa. I also realised that the Spar shop was marginally cheaper. On the back of this revelation I had a thought, "Why doesn't my Grandma do all her shopping at the Spar shop?" It seemed logical to me. It would be quicker and cheaper. I decided to float this idea one day when we got home, after I had finished my chunk of cheese. The whole idea was ludicrous to Grandma. She'd always shopped this way ever since the family moved onto the estate and what's more Whettons relied on her shop. This was her argument. My argument was strong: "So what? Whettons will survive without you and you will have more money left in your purse." I was winning, but then she said, "What about the chunk of cheese? You won't get a chunk of cheese thrown in if we do all our shopping at Spar." I gave in! The issue for Grandma was not the fear of change or moving with the times. The issue was loyalty. I couldn't see it but my Grandma valued loyalty far more highly than I did. I believe that our awesome God is completely loyal and places an extremely high value upon it.
Church is a body: The New Testament truth that the church is the body of Christ is very exciting. The thought that every member is alive and contributing to the church's health and vitality should motivate you and I to be all that we can be for God in our local setting. You see, we are not disconnected limbs but all part of one body that is fulfilling the desires of our king and head, Jesus. Your leg is part of your body. It doesn't just attend the bodies' functions and activities, it participates in them. That is exactly your relationship with the church where God has placed you. You are not a disconnected member who decides when and where they might turn up; you are an integral part of everything that is happening. "...built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple...in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit." Ephesians 2:20-22 When God joins and builds things together they grow both individually and corporately. The joining that God makes is the joining of loyalty and not the joining of commonality. You don't get joined to the people in your church just because you love the same music or have the same job, you get joined together by God. Jesus said, "What God has joined together let no one separate." Matthew 19:6 When Paul writes to Timothy and gives him a picture of people in the last days he explains that one of the characteristics of last days living will be disloyalty. (2Timothy 3:1-5) God wants you and I to have a different spirit and live our lives with loyalty and faithfulness, particularly in the context of our local church…
Discipleship gained: When loyalty is present it provides a tremendous platform for discipleship. You and I need people to speak into our lives and not just people who tell us how good we look but friends who can influence our lives for good by telling us what we need to hear and not just what we want to hear. The trend for people to be disloyal in the church has meant that many leaders shrink back from discipleship because they fear people leaving with their offence and moving to the church down the road or in the next city/town. When this happens, people simply take their offence or problem with them and often the same cycle is repeated. How often do people leave churches for the very same reason they joined them? Very often!
Friends: Deciding who you allow to speak into your life is very important. Whilst we all need the discipleship framework, we need to allow everyone and anyone the opportunity to speak into our lives as much as we need a hole in the head. We don't need seagull prophets. That is the kind of people who fly in, dump their latest offering and fly off again. What we do need are loyal friends, friends that love at all times. (Proverbs 17:17) A true friend will be there in season and out of season, they will always want the best for you, their motive will not be the advancement of their agenda but the progress of God's kingdom and will in your life.
One church for you: Going to church, for some people, can be a bit like going to the cinema. At most local cinemas there are eight to ten screens and when you arrive you decide what you would like to watch. Do you fancy drama, thriller, action or comedy? There are those who approach church in the very same way. "What do I want today?" The spirit of loyalty will mean that you realise that there is only one church for you. Even when church gets challenging and rocky, there's still only one church for you. A company of people who are full of this loyal spirit will be joined and built together by God so that they can grow and He can live among them. You will have numerous occasions when your loyalty is tested. It may be in times when people are criticising your church or pastor. At those times the loyal person will make a stand and refuse to participate in the gossip of busybodies.
"Never do a Switzerland": This phrase was given to us by my friend Dave Gilpin from Hope City Church, Sheffield. He came and spoke to our leaders and key people at a time when our church had been in reverse and people had been criticising us, leaving us and infesting others with their opinions. His point was, you cannot be neutral. Loyalty will cause you to stand with people even if your own reputation is on the line. Many people in our church have themselves been the object of criticism because at this time they stood with me and refused to be disloyal. Good on yer!
The Absalom Spirit: In 2 Samuel chapters 13-20 there is the story of Absalom's rebellion against his father king David. I'd love you to read it as do not have the space to retell the whole affair here but what I want to do is highlight some of the important lessons that relate to loyalty.
1. It's only under pressure that you will discover whether you have loyalty within your heart. Absalom found himself under pressure because his sister Tamar had been raped by his brother Amnon and his father had done nothing about it. Absalom, being the eldest brother and one who loves his sister, (he later names his own daughter Tamar) feels that this disgraceful act by Amnon has put a pressure on the family that he hasn't experienced before. In times of pressure God wants your loyalty to grow and not diminish. I am told that tree roots become stronger as they are exposed to high winds, and that should be the outcome in our lives. When challenges come, our root system of relationship and commitment should grow. Absalom is upset at his father's reluctance to deal with the situation and so decides to take matters into his own hands. Two years later he arranges to have Amnon killed. David hears about it and is extremely angry so he banishes Absalom.
2. Carrying an offence in your heart may lead to serious disloyalty. Being banished seriously ticks Absalom off. After all Amnon got away scot free. His offence grows even more when after four years he returns but David will have nothing to do with him. Jesus wants you to deal with offence. If it concerns a fellow believer you are meant to go to them and put things right. Absalom returns again after a further two years and this time David welcomes him back, but he still has not resolved the issue within his heart. Absalom begins to steal the hearts of the people away from David. He sits at the city gates and as people arrive to have their complaints heard by the king, he shows sympathy to both sides and sows seeds of rebellion. When the people go to bow before him, he will not let them; instead he hugs them, pretending to be everyone's buddy, when in reality he wants to be king. Beware of people pretending to be everyone's friend.
3. Loyalty is tested when a leader looks weak. Eventually Absalom takes 200 men to Hebron where the trumpet is sounded and it is declared, "Absalom is king in all Israel." Beware of people who blow their own trumpet. Absalom had been at this for a while, "If I were king I would do this and that..." he would say. David hears that Absalom has pronounced himself king and decides to flee Jerusalem. This seems an unusual thing for him to do, as you would have thought he would fight for his kingdom but what his action reveals is the heart of the people. Everyone has to make a choice. Are you for Absalom or are you for David? Result oriented people will always go with Absalom because the spin makes it sound like something better is happening. People who are driven by results, however, will always make the wrong decision. God wanted people to be loyal to David even though this was a time to make a retreat. Some of these issues are extremely relevant to church life. What God expects of you and I is loyalty. Loyalty to the house that he has planted you in and loyalty to the leader he has put you with. In a time when loyalty is so easily lost for desired gain, a better deal, or a more convenient lifestyle, this may seem odd. The truth is that convenience, gain and the end result do not equal the epitome of life.
A life shaping journey: This chapter opens with Ittai's words. Ittai was a warrior and a Philistine, he didn't have to be loyal to David, in fact David offers him the option of leaving. Ittai chooses loyalty. I believe that what he is saying is, "The end result is of no consequence to me but what matters are the issues of character and integrity." This man realised that what he was experiencing was part of life's journey and he could grow by it or he could shrink becoming hard-hearted, non committed or rebellious. You are on a life shaping journey. You will have many opportunities to choose loyalty over gain within the kingdom of God. You may forsake a promotion or other forms of personal gain to stay planted in the house where God has put you, but one thing is certain, where God can join people together, there He will live and they will grow.
REMEMBER
The church is a body and you are a part of it
Who you allow to speak into your life is very important
There is only one church for you
Loyalty will be tested, character and integrity rank higher than gain