Maximise Your Life with Paul Benger - Part Six
In Chapter Six of his book, Twelve, Paul Benger looks at the importance of honour in church and how to make sure we don't exclude it where it's most needed.
"Whatever you honour you can replicate, whatever you dishonour you'll have no more of." Paul Scanlon, (Leadership School 2003 in a message entitled Category 3 Leadership.)
What do great churches have in common? Well, there are obviously unique characteristics within each one but one thing that was common to all I discovered by accident. Over a period of several years I have had the opportunity to visit several "great" churches such as Hillsong Sydney; Christian City Church, Oxford Falls; Abundant Life Church, Bradford etc.. On my visits I wasn't looking for a common trait, but, without asking for it or seeking it out, one hit me straight between the eyes. In all of these churches incredible honour is given to the senior pastor by the people and a spirit of honour flows through the whole church.
Wasting my breath
I make it a practice when visiting churches to say to people in that church how great their senior pastor is. Of course, I only do this in places where I believe it to be true. In all of the above cases I was wasting my breath. Not because the people were so negative and against their leaders but because the people already knew it. On one occasion I was talking to a lady from one of the churches that I have visited and I said, "You know, I believe that you've got a great pastor." Her enthusiastic reply shocked me. For twenty minutes she went on about how good her senior pastor and his wife were. She gave them accolade after accolade and told me how much she and the rest of the people loved them. At the end of the twenty minutes I felt a little mischievous and wanted to say, "I didn't think that he was that good!" But I didn't. I was so pleased that someone would honour their leader so well. At that moment a thought entered my head. "Maybe there is a correlation between this woman's strength of character and faith and her respect for her senior pastor."
Different gravy
These churches were not what I was used to. In travelling a little and preaching in other churches a common scenario I had experienced would go something like this: I would comment to the pastor how well my message and visit had been received. The pastor would then tell me that he had been teaching these things for the last six months and it seemed to him that the people weren't taking a blind bit of notice. "Then you come in and everybody gets it! Charming." My ego wanted to believe it was my skill as an orator and preacher of the word, but my heart knew differently. The problem was a lack of honour. It is sad when we shower a visitor with greater honour than we do the builders of the house, who are laying their lives down week in and week out for the kingdom of God. These churches, like Hillsong etc., are a different gravy. They're a new breed pointing the way forward to a brighter, more prosperous and successful future for the church at large. The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honour, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching. 1 Timothy 5:17
You can only receive from what you respect
I've only ever asked one person to leave our church and that was when they said, "I don't respect you." The reason that I asked them to leave wasn't because I was hurt or angered by the comment, but I knew that I could have no influence or impact upon the life of a person who had no respect for me as a leader. At the point of no respect a person is more likely to infest others with their negative thoughts and feelings than to contribute to the building of the house of God. When Jesus had finished these parables, he moved on from there. Coming to his hometown, he began teaching the people...and they were amazed." Where did this man get this wisdom and these miraculous powers?" they asked. "Isn't this the carpenters son? Isn't his mother's name Mary?...Where then did this man get all these things?" And they took offence at him. But Jesus said to them "Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet without honour." And he did not do many miracles because of their lack of faith.
Matthew 13:53-58 In just a few short sentences the people in Jesus' hometown moved from being amazed by his teaching, to being offended and unable to receive. As Jesus begins teaching, they are really up for it. It's a long time since they've had a real prophet with a word from God. But it all turns sour when, because they know him and they know his family and they know his history (virgin birth an' all), they are unable to view him as a prophet
and their lack of respect and honour stops them receiving from him. "This is just Mary's son, we've got his brothers an' sisters here luv. He's nowt special, I knew it all along. Whatever you do, Gladys, don't give him any of our 'ard earned money."
What measure are you using?
The problem that day in Jesus' hometown was that instead of rating the person and word of Jesus as a ten they measured him up as a big fat zero. "Consider carefully what you hear," Jesus continued, "With the measure you use, it will be measured to you - and even more." Mark 4:24 There are some things that we hear that we should rate as a zero, no question. But when God is speaking and those whom God has put in our lives are speaking we should be measuring their words as close to a ten as we possibly can. Jesus suggests the measure that we use in valuing a person and their words will have a direct impact on the ability of that person and their message to have impact upon our lives. When the people in Jesus' hometown lost the plot and by reason of a technicality missed out on a move of God, they displayed a common human trait that unfortunately works against the kingdom of God. I say unfortunately because the trait is extremely common. He can't be special, we know him: There are parts of the church today that are so afraid of personality cults and personality driven churches that they have lost the understanding of what it means to honour people. When leaders stand up with confidence and exude a belief that I really have got something to say and what I say could change your life, not because of some magic attached to my words or prayers, but because this is the wisdom of God, people often react. The truth is that the wisdom of God applied to our lives will bring success. As someone said, "Success is about doing the right things for long enough." Honouring our leaders is essential if we are to feel the full force that God intended their ministry to have. The church at Thessalonica seemed to have got it right. They received the word spoken by Paul as if it were the word of God, which, of course, it is, and as a result the word produced results. We will never stop thanking God that when we preached his message to you, you didn't think of the words we spoke as being just our own. You accepted what we said as the very word of God...And this word continues to work in you who believe. 1Thessalonians 2:13(NLT) "Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. "Honour you father and mother," - which is the first commandment with a promise - "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."" Ephesians 6:1-3 The principle to honour and through honour to be blessed is not new. It actually is at work in every sphere of our lives. The bible speaks of several relational areas where this principle is at work. Children and parents, workers and employers, churches and leaders. In all of these arenas the challenge to us is to get past the technicality of our knowing our leaders, fathers, mothers and bosses and do what the bible says, honour them. We should realise that God has put people in our lives that are there to lead and serve us, which means we are there to follow.
The right stuff
Paul's words to the Ephesian church that we have just read are amazing. Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Now there's a motivation for doing something. Living a life of integrity will mean that there will be a lot of stuff that we do just because it's right. Not because it makes the bottom line look healthy, not because it costs us nothing and not because everything about a situation is perfect but just because it is right. Our society's attempt to remove absolutes has birthed a growing problem. Children fail to respect their parents and cannot therefore receive correction, wisdom and love from fathers and mothers. Parents are forced into believing they are doing something wrong when their children are unhappy because of guidance or discipline that they have given. I know several teachers who feel helpless to stem the tide of failing respect and fear the classroom being a place of anarchy as it becomes increasingly difficult to discipline their pupils in any way at all. It is not my purpose to depress you with the ills of society today but to inform you that the only answer is the house of God. I am so grateful that a new breed of church is emerging where respect and honour are key elements. Not only are these essential if we are to receive everything that God has for us but also if our society is going to change. You and I should not be waiting for the politicians to change policy so that life in church becomes a little easier due to people at large being taught to have a greater respect for authority and leadership but we should be leading the way.
Tabloid church
If there's one thing we need to avoid like the plague within the house of God it is the spirit that seems to be present in much of the tabloid press. It looks to me like the journalistic plot is to find a newcomer, whether in the world of sport, media or politics, build them up with great accolades and then look for some angle through which we can knock them. A negative and critical spirit will sometimes heap praise upon a person because it knows that will endear it to its listeners, but at heart its desire will be destruction. (Matthew 15:8) The house of God is not a fault finding area but a gift finding area and a potential realising environment. One of the greatest challenges you will face is how you will deal with criticism. The criticism of you, the potential for criticism within you and the inevitable criticism of others by people around you. I have known people become unable to work and support people that they truly loved and believed in because they allowed their hearts to be infected by criticism.
4 signs of honouring
If you were to need a check up on your heart the doctors would start by checking your vital signs. I have found that there are four vital signs that reveal our spiritual condition.
Your Mouth - James 1:26 "If anyone among you thinks he's religious, and does not bridal his tongue, but deceives his own heart, this one's religion is useless." You can only be a person that honours others if you do so with your words. James says that the inability to control our words actually renders our faith useless. You need to renew your way of speaking in order to be constantly affirming and speaking well of others.
Your Mates - Proverbs 13:20 "He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed." You may have to forsake the company of some people if you are going to honour and receive from others. The bible teaches us not to walk with those whose way is disorderly. Gossip and criticism is one of the most disorderly practices I can think of. Choose mates who are positive about life and other people.
Your Mind - Romans 12:2 "Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…" Your thought life is such a key to determining the theme of your life. Paul here suggests our lives actually conform to this world or are transformed, thus conforming to God's world according to what goes off in our minds. When negative thoughts and feelings kick off within you it is vital that you refuse to accept them. It will be impossible to honour people if you allow yourself the freedom to think badly about them.
Your Money - Matthew 6:21 "For where your treasure is there your heart will be also." Your ability to be generous financially to those God would have you honour is extremely important. I will talk more about this subject in a later chapter, suffice it to say at this time that your heart and treasure will always go together. If you have a heart for the kingdom of God then you will commit financially to kingdom activity especially the building of the local church. Your commitment to giving will release and bless those whom God has called to minister to you. Why not do something you have never done before, find a creative way to honour and bless your leaders.
Respect is cool
I am sure that it is obvious that to give respect and honour is an issue of the heart. My desire and belief is that we will see the house of God become increasingly good at this as God transforms the heart of his people.
REMEMBER:
You can only receive from those you honour and respect
The measure that you use determines the measure that you receive
Knowing someone is just a technicality, they can still carry a word from God
Because it's right is a great motive
4 vital signs of life: mouth, mates, mind, money